Walking the Narrow Path

You never know what is going on in someone else’s head, what things they are struggling with. Many of us feel we have put on a brave exterior, not show what is really going on inside.

How many of you have in the past, or even this week, had a terrible day, you know one of those where everything goes wrong. Then you see a friend, or you come into church on Sunday morning and get asked, ‘How are you?’ or ‘How has your week been?’ and what do you say? ‘Fine thanks, how about you?’ or ‘I’m getting there’. Why do we do this? Sometimes we don’t want to burden the other person with our issues, sometimes we feel it shows weakness to struggle and we don’t want to make ourselves vulnerable in that way. Sometimes we don’t feel our issues are validated, sometimes we think we might be judged and I am sure there are many other reasons or excuses we give ourselves.

But we are family, God’s family. Some of you may not have had the experience of a supportive genetic family, your family may have let you down. Some of you may have had poor experiences within a church family. Unfortunately this can happen because we are all flawed people. But we are a family.

Paul in his letter 1 Thessalonians 3 v 12 says:

“and may the Lord make your love grow and overflow to each other and to everyone else, just as our love overflows toward you”

In Luke 6 v 31 it says:

“Do for other as you would like them to do for you”

Proverbs 18 v 24 explains:

“There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother”

There was a cassette tape that my brothers and sister and I used to listen to when we were growing up. Any one born after the year 2000 may not know what a cassette tape is, Google it! This tape was Psalty the Singing Songbook. Part of the lyrics to one of Psalty’s songs was:

“Welcome to the family, we’re glad that you have come to share your lives with us, as we grow in love and may we always be to you, what God would have us be a family always there, to strong and to be love.

May we learn to love each other before we leave today, may words of love be on our lips in everything we say. May the Spirit melt our hearts and teach us how to pray. That we might be a true family”

I don’t know about you, but the thought of a true family is a good one. A family where you can be yourself without worry. A family that will laugh with you when things are good, will cry with you when things are sad. A family that will help you up and pray with you when you make a mistake and love you through the good times and the bad times. God’s family.

One of my favourite Christian music groups when I was a teenager was D C Talk and they have a song called ‘What if I Stumble?’ which includes the lyrics:

“What if I stumble, what if I fall, what if I lose my step and I make fools of us all, will the love continue if my walk becomes a crawl, what if I stumble and what if I fall?”

The fear of judgement can stop you from doing so much! The fear of stumbling over your words can stop you praying with someone – I understand. The fear of looking like a fool can stop you standing up for yourself and what you believe in. The fear of judgement can stop you asking for help when you need it. Fear of failure can stop you fulfilling your destiny.

None of us know what people are hiding underneath their outward appearance. Society is acknowledging mental health issues now a lot more than ever and I think the last few years have brought mental health topics to the forefront of work and families dealing with loss, isolation, vulnerability, fear of the unknown and many other reasons.

As Christians, we have a hope in Jesus. He has promised that he will never leave us nor forsake us. But that doesn’t mean that we has humans don’t waiver sometimes. I lost my dad when I was 17, my dad was a man of faith, a lovely man and I have no doubt that he is in heaven, at the time I had no doubt that he was in heaven, but I was still a child who had lost her father, I was still grieving for my father, but as a Christian, at times, I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be sad, that I should be celebrating that he was now with Jesus in heaven. I am telling those who have lost loved ones: It is ok to grieve. It is ok to cry. It is ok to admit when you are not ok. That some days it is enough that you got out of bed.

Some Christians battle depression or other mental illness, but they have been told “the joy of the Lord is your strength”, like there is something wrong, or they are not good Christians if they have a bad day or a bad period. Depression and other mental illnesses are as serious as physical illnesses and they should be acknowledged and treatment found. If as a Christian you break your leg, you don’t refuse to go to the hospital and get it set and cast, even though God is the great healer and more than capable of healing you. In the same way, you are not failing if you go to the doctor to get help with mental or emotional struggles.

Elijah suffered a period of depression, in 1 Kings 19 v 3 – 8 he asked God to take his life, he had had enough.

“Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord’ he said. ‘Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.’ Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat.’ He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.’ So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by the food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.”

Elijah slept, got up and ate and slept some more. In this period he had nothing left in him other than to eat and sleep with no capacity for anything more. After he had taken this time, he was able to carry on with his journey. David knew some bad times too, Psalms 102 v 1 – 11 says:

“Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry for help come to you. Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly. For my days vanish like smoke; my bones burn like glowing embers. My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food. Because of my loud groaning I am reduced to skin and bones. I am like a desert owl, like an owl among the ruins. I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof. All day long my enemies taunt me; those who rail against me use my name as a curse. For I eat ashes as my food and mingle my drink with tears because of your great wrath, for you have taken me up and thrown me aside. My days are like the evening shadow; I wither away like grass.”

I wonder how much this resonates in the tough times of life. Have you had times when you have forgotten to eat, when you feel alone, when you feel like you have been cast aside? As Christians, as a family of God, we should be able to acknowledge our vulnerabilities to ourselves and to one another, but we must remember that they do not define us. If we can acknowledge when we are going through a difficult time, our church family can pray with us, support us and respond with love and not judgement.

Everybody struggles with something, even if their outward attitude and appearance seems to say otherwise. Take time to get to know your church family, spend time with them. Be proud of your scars. The things you have been through in life the situations you have survived, equip you with the insight and the tools to help and support someone else, but sometimes you have to speak up, you have to make yourself vulnerable and tell your story. The things each of us have been through in the past may have been painful, they may have been devastating. You may have made choices in your life that you look back on now and think, I should have done things differently and perhaps you should, but all those things you have been through, all those things you have survived, have given you skills that you may not have had without them. They have taught you things that have shaped you as a person.

I won’t go into Joseph’s back story right now, but he went through a lot in his life, when he confronted his brothers later on for selling him into slavery he said ‘you meant it to harm me, but God meant it for good’

Let us love each other, let us support each other, let us pray for each other. Let us be part of the family of God.